At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
