If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
