just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
