i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize