Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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