PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
