And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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