My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
