You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
