'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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