u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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