Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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