Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
As shirtless as possible
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize