I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
