in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
