ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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