didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
