pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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