what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's official drugs can't kill me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
