butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
