My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize