you would pick up someone in the library
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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