adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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