you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
