so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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