No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize