i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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