Do you still have your period?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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