if i can run in heels then i can drive
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
