You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
