fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
