There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
No subtext here. People are naked.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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