He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
