I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i love accidental penises.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
