it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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