Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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