I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
