Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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