Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
