10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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