There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
