I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
