I will die if light touches me.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
