I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
