what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize