Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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