every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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