You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
