i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
