after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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