i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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