Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
