It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
