At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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