try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
