Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
