i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
