Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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