No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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