I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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