just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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