:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
