I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
