we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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