Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
