The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
