dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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