I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize