I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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