We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
