does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
