is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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